Hare Krishna Prabhujis and Mathajis,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudev.
Recently I was going through the diary which contained my conversations with our beloved Gurudev, HDG Mahavishnu Gosvami Maharaj. I seek the permission of the devotees to allow meto share an excerpt from one of the conversations. I will try and list down the points which I had taken down on my note book. We had noted this conversation down in point form. In thismail we have tried to put together all the points in paragraphs for ease of reading, as such the sentences may not be flowing as it should be. Kindly forgive us.
During one phone conversation, I had asked Maharaj that despite having the desire to preach and do more in devotional service, I was not able to push myself to practically execute that desire due to some form of inertia. The answer that Maharaj gave proved the type of unique transcendental experience he had in dealing with any matter put in front of him.
Maharaj said, "The motive must be very clear. Why do we want to preach and do more in seva? A sincere road sweeper is better than a fake transcendentalist. Please remember this. Have the desire, but don't worry too much about it. The time will come when these desires will be fulfilled, a time when you will be free to spend more time with such things. The word inertia is very nice. Even though desire is there we cannot do. This inertia is because of contact with modes. Our activities are not controlled thats why the modes are always fighting with each other within us. The desire to do the seva is in the mode of goodness, the inertia is there because passion and ignorance are fighting with goodness. Until the activities are controlled the inertia will always keep the desire dormant.
You should not get into these things artificially. The inertia also is naturally there because you are artificially trying to get into these things. Just be sincere. Try to squeeze sadhana in your daily life. As you fit your sadhana in, then your day becomes full. Don't make time for unnecessary things. Even if sense gratification must be present, please keep it very minimal and in that also four regulative principles must be maintained. The best way to enjoy is to stick to these principles. As the day is full with your work and sadhana then your senses are not exposed to matter. The reason for inertia and lethargy is our senses and mind being are exposed to matter in the modes. This matter drains our energy. This matter is the unnecessary activities. If our activities dwell around work, sadhana and regulated sense gratification then our senses are in-line to come and grasp the spiritual topics. It may be difficult to maintain this routine but we must try. In this routine we can experience happiness in the modes of goodness. And being satisfied and happy like this we can slowly free ourselves from the attachments. Like this, freedom is achieved to execute the desire to preach and perform more seva. Just be sincere in your day to day life. Remember Krishna sincerely. Just remember Him. Does it take so much effort to remember? It is not a show. In your own time just remember Him. Where is the difficulty?
Look at our Prabhupada, the structure of his life - how he gradually moved with desire to preach, how he conducted his activities. Eventually he was free to convert the whole world. Every soul is unique. Understand your position and conduct your activities according to the instructions of Bhagavatam. Be honest, remember Krishna intensely in all your activities, don't hanker and you will have your freedom to preach. This I guarantee."
Maharaj ended off with a very interesting point with regards to preaching, "We should not lose our self in the fire of preaching. Exhaustion for preachers is very bad. We should look fresh and bright to everyone who comes in front of us. That is devotee. If we preach to the extent that we are completely lost, what is the point? Preaching should not be done for sensegratification. Preaching is a must, but regulated life is also needed. These things we must understand practically."
My master made it so clear to me as always. If I ever go wrong in this life I only have myself to blame. Prabhus and Mathajis, please kindly keep us in your prayers. All glories to Gurudev.
I will end this post with a jewel from Srila Gurudev which HG Devakinandan prabhu had shared with us. It is very much related to what Maharaj was trying to emphasize in the above conversation. Maharaj said, "One requires unlimited patience to create favourable circumstances to liberate oneself from material sense gratification."
Thankyou very much.
Yours in service of Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudeva,
Madan Mohan das,
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