Attitude

25th Jul 2003
Kaveri devi dasi

Dear Vaishnavas,
Hare Krishna. Pease accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudev.

The following is a letter written by one of the disciples of HH Mahavishnu Goswami Maharaj to His Holiness recently. The Mathaji's name is Kaveri devi dasi and she is from Adelaide, Australia. Recently when Maharaj visited Sydney, she badly wanted to meet Maharaj. But due to long and hectic trips Maharaj's health was not good and he wanted to leave early to India. She had even made arrangements to go to Sydney but due to the change of schedule it became almost impossible. Mathaji even wrote to me later saying that she was feeling so sorry for Maharaj's health and also not being able to meet him, she was crying very much during her chanting and also the whole day. Somehow due to her sincerity, Maharaj's health became better, he stayed a little longer in Sydney, and mathaji was able to have his darshan ultimately. During the week when Maharaj's health was not good and as she was not in a position to meet Maharaj, she had written this following letter to Maharaj thru Viraja Krsna Prabhu (who was personally serving Maharaj in Sydney at that time).

It is true that we have made some basic recommendations on the format and structure of mails to Granthraj and this posting may not fit in those rules. When I read this letter (passed on to me by Viraja Krsna Prabhu), I could feel Mathaji's intense eagerness to serve, humbleness and surrender towards her spiritual master (tad viddhi praṇipātena paripraśnena sevayā BG 4.34). Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu had the same disposition towards His spiritual master as we can see from the pages of Sri Caitanya Caritamrta. We can also see the same attitude in Srila Prabhupada towards his spiritual master in his Vyasa puja offering to His Divine Grace Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur. These are superb samples for all of us, on what is the attitude of the disciple towards the spiritual master who has saved us from the quagmire of illusion. Although I don't have an iota of eagerness or surrender this mathaji has, I should at least pass on this letter to all you humble souls to get more enlightenment in the path of devotional service.

Thank you very much.
Yours in service of Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudev,
Kalacakra Krsna das.

Mail from H G Kaveri Devi Dasi    

My dearest Maharaj,

I beg to offer my heartfelt humble obeisance at the dust of your most effulgent lotus feet, which are the treasure of this whole world!

All glories, all glories to your divine grace. I am sad to hear about your health condition and pray that you recover quickly. I am equally sad and disheartened that I am not able to have the darshan of your lotus feet. It is my greatest misfortune and just proves my insincerity.

I am eternally indebted to your divine grace for giving me the shelter of your lotus feet. I can never repay this eternal debt. Whatever I try to offer will be like offering a paper flower in return for thousands of golden skyscrapers. However, there really is no comparison. In the assembly of your disciples, I am a black sheep. I lack everything that all your disciples possess. I am only an example of your unconditional, causeless mercy.

Day by day I come to realize your greatness and my insignificance and I cannot forgive myself for asking shelter of your lotus feet. Please dear father, forgive me for offending you. I have no right to ask your divine grace for anything but the truth is, after Srila Prabhupada, you are the only Paramahamsa who I have faith in. I have no other shelter other than your lotus feet.

One of the many sweetest things that I realized to be prominent about your divine grace is the way you sing "Jaya Radha Madhava". I have heard many sing this song but when you sing it, it is wonderfully beautiful. As you sing this song one has no doubt in his mind that Krishna is remaining by your side.

Dear father, if you again wish to come back to this planet for the benefit of all the fallen souls, please if you so desire, I pray that I may be born immediately to be your servant wherever you go to serve Srila Prabhupada's mission. So I may get the fortunate opportunity to carry out duties like polishing your shoes etc.  

Many instances I wished to talk to your divine grace just to convey my obeisances and gratitude but I always felt that I would be a nuisance to you, wasting your valuable time. My inebrities are unlimited that I cannot properly speak to you. I am also bereft of pious merits or qualities to approach your divine grace who has conquered Lord Krishna through body, words and mind. I am eternally grateful for what you sacrificed for me.

Seeing the superior command of the English language, Sanskrit and the knowledge of scriptures your divine grace acquire, many flee in different direction. Yet this stupid, useless soul was given the chance to be your disciple. I am overwhelmed by your mercy my dear father! Whatever qualifications others may see in me is due to the effulgence reflected at me from your divine grace's lotus feet. My recent contribution to Granthraj Internet forum is just a humble attempt for your pleasure. Please forgive this useless soul for not having the ability to write meaningfully as you want your disciples to do. 

I thank your divine grace eternally for appearing in this planet, selflessly taking up all kinds of pains at this wondrous age, to deliver perpetually, wretched souls like me from the clutches of maya. All glories, all glories to you father! Hare Krishna.

Your unworthy servant always,
Kaveri devi dasi
Adelaide.