Dear Prabhujis and Mathajis,
Hare Krishna! Please accept my humble obeisances! All Glories to Srila Prabhupada and Gurudev!
Recently, a devotee was talking about his experiences while distributing Srila Prabhupada's books. Once he was talking to a person at great length about "Bhagavad Gita as it is" and the person was also asking too many questions. At the end of so much discussion, that person told that he already has the book at home and didn't purchase it. On the other hand, another man who was standing nearby and was reading a newspaper all along, purchased a copy of Bhagavad Gita even though the devotee had not spoken a word to him. On another occasion, the devotee was traveling in the crowded Mumbai electric train and on both his hands two persons were keeping their heads and were dozing off even while standing. Thus both the hands of the devotees were practically locked up and his book bag was hanging from his shoulders. Meanwhile a man came near the devotee and he wanted to take a Bhagavad Gita book. The devotee asked the man to take the book from the bag himself, as both the devotee's hands were practically useless now. The man took the book from the bag, put the money in devotee's pocket and walked off. The devotee was telling that all these incidents made him realize that ultimately Krishna is the Doer of everything. We think that we are speaking and convincing people to buy the books, we are taking all physical and mental efforts for the distribution of books. But here he experienced that neither his speech nor his hands did the job but still the books had been distributed.
The fact that 'Krishna is the doer and ultimate controller' and we are only instruments of Krishna is always forgotten by all of us. We are under the misconception that we are preaching and we are making devotees. But the real mood and the consciousness with which we should speak is very wonderfully explained in Srimad Bhagavatham 2.4.11.
ity upaamantrito raajna / gunaanukathane hareh
hrishikesham anusmrtya / prativaktum pracakrame
Suta Goswami said: "When Sukadeva Goswami was thus requested by the King to describe the creative energy of the Personality of Godhead, he then systematically remembered the master of the senses (Sri Krishna), and to reply properly he spoke thus."
Myself and my prabhu were always feeling guilty that we are preaching even though we are so full of all the defects and disqualifications. When we spoke to Maharaj regarding this Maharaj said that preaching purifies our existence and when we are sitting in the vyaasaasana to preach, we are above the modes of material nature. When another Godbrother spoke to Maharaj and told him that he is feeling very nervous to speak, Maharaj asked him, "Why are you thinking that you are speaking? It is Krishna who is speaking." When we went to Chennai, we had the fortune to meet one of our God brothers H.G. Gopala Krishna Prabhu and he was telling that any statement that is spoken by Maharaj is there in Srimad Bhagavatam and he told his own experiences in this regard and how he came in contact with the same statements in the scriptures sooner or later. We were pleasantly taken aback when we had the same experience now. We found that the statements spoken by Maharaj regarding preaching were exactly there in the purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 2.4.11. "The devotees of the Lord, while delivering speeches and describing the transcendental attributes of the Lord, do not think that they can do anything independently. They think that they can speak only what they are induced to speak by the Supreme Lord, the master of the senses. The senses of the individual being are not his own; the devotee knows that such senses belong to the Supreme Lord and that they can be properly used when they are employed for the service of the Lord. The senses are instruments, and the elements are ingredients, all endowed by the Lord.; therefore whatever an individual can do, speak, see etc., is under the direction of the Lord only. No one is free to act freely and independently, and as such, one should always seek the permission of the Lord to act or eat or speak, and by the blessing of the Lord, everything done by a devotee is beyond the principles of the four defects typical of the conditioned soul."
Thus the reason for fear and guilt and the way to get out of both these defective feelings is so wonderfully explained in this purport:
Reason for nervousness and fear: The reason for feeling fearful is that we are thinking that we are the doers of all the activities. Hence we feel ourselves responsible for any outcome from that activity. Thus we are filled up with so much expectation and the consequent disappointment and frustration.
Remedy: The way to get out of this is to think that whatever we are doing is induced by the Supreme Lord, the master of the senses. By doing this we will not crave for recognition and appreciation and hence we become peaceful and we are not fearful of the outcome of our activity.
Reason for feeling of guilt: We are feeling guilty because we do not have the proper knowledge of how and unto who's service we should utilize the senses. The absence of this knowledge makes us feel guilty to do any service and we avoid the service opportunity which comes to us after millions of lifetimes.
Remedy: So we have to know and realize that the senses belong to the Supreme Lord Sri Krishna and they can be properly used only when they are employed in His service. By realizing this we are completely saved from all the sinful activities.
By thinking and realizing these two things we become peaceful and sinless and thereby we transcend the modes while doing any activity.
Thank you very much,
Trying to be your servant in the service of Srila Prabhupada and Gurudev,
Vaijayanthimala devi dasi
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