Relationship of wife with her husband

Relationship of wife with her husband

Date
Author
Syamasundar Das

Hare Krishna dear devotees,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada and Gurudev. 

Nowadays, in several houses, married life is broken even by slight misunderstandings. Peaceful household depends upon mutual understanding and respect between the life-partners - especially upon the degree of patience, tolerance and submisive nature of the wife.

Exhaustive guidance is available in the pages of Srimad Bhagavatam 9th Canto chapter 3, wherein the King Saryati has to give his young beautiful daughter in charity to a sage, Cyavana Muni, who is advanced in age, in order to escape from the danger of being cursed (as she had ignorantly pierced two glowing substances with a thorn in a forest). This is explained in the verse 9.3.10.

sukanyaa cyavanam praapya
patim parama-kopanam
prinayaam aasa citta jnaa
apramattaanuvrttibhih

"Cyavana Muni was very irritable, but since Sukanya had gotten him as her husband, she dealt with him carefully, according to his mood. Knowing his mind, she performed service to him without being bewildered".

Srila Prabhupada has very nicely explained in the purport as follows ..

'This is an indication of the relationship between husband and wife. A great personality like Cyavana Muni has the temperament of always wanting to be in a superior position. Such a person cannot submit to anyone. Therefore, Cyavana muni had an irritable temperament. His wife, Sukanya, could understand his attitude, and under the circumstances she treated him accordingly. If any wife wants to be happy with her husband, she must try to understand her husband's temperament and please him. This is victory for a woman. Even in the dealings of Lord Krsna with His different queens, it has been seen that although the queens were the daughters of great kings, they placed themselves before Lord Krsna as His maidservants. However great a woman may be, she must place herself before her husband in this way; that is to say, she must be ready to carry out her husband's orders and please him in all circumstances. Then her life will be successful. When the wife becomes as irritable as the husband, their life at home is sure to be disturbed or ultimately completely broken.Westerners contend that this is a slave mentality for the wife, but factually it is not; it is the tactic by which a woman can conquer the heart of her husband, however irritable or cruel he may be.'

Caitanya Mahaprabhu also describes through the Padyavali verse 

naaham vipro na ca nara-patir naapi vaishyo na shudro
naaham varni na ca grha-patir no vanastho yatir vaa
kintu prodyan-nikhila-paramaananda-purnaamrtaabdher
gopi-bhartuh pada-kamalayor daasa-daasaanudaasah

'I am not a brahmana, I am not a ksatriya, I am not a vaisya or a Sudra. Nor am I a brahmacari, a householder, a vanaprastha or a sannyasi. I identify Myself only as the servant of the servant of the servant of the lotus feet of Lord Sri Krsna, the maintainer of the gopis. He is like an ocean of nectar, and He is the cause of universal transcendental bliss. He is always existing with brilliance.'

If each grhastha - either husband or wife, remembers the words of His Divine Grace and that of Mahaprabhu and helps each other in progress of devotional service then there will be no more divorces.

Thank you very much,
Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,
Syama Sundar Das.