29th Feb 2004
Ramaniyangam Krsna das

Hare Krishna Prabhujis and Matajis,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudev.

Thank you very much for reminding me of this granthraj-discussion forum, Kalacakra Prabhu.

Speaking about consistency, our Gurudeva has really been consistent in reminding us that the solution to all our problems lies in the Srimad-Bhagavatam. What endless patience he has with me who just refuses to dig his heels in this scripture. At least I have increased my reading somewhat this year. But then another thought struck my mind: that even while reading my attention many times doesn't really go to the book; that is why it is difficult to intensify the reading and hence realisations does not come. On the contrary: the mind is very consistent in giving me all kinds nonsense realisations even while reading. What is the solution? I can only cry and smash my head against the wall.

And herein we should consider another thing: even if we can be consistent in reading daily Bhagavad Gita or Srimad-Bhagavatam, if we are not free from side-motives, we will not deeply or intensely experience Krsna in the pages and the the result is that we cannot become free from material desires. Because our Gurudeva is completely free from anything else but Krsna conscious desires he is able to give uninterrupted realizations and give us unlimited encouragements to continue in some form or other with this most exalted Scripture. One other example I also have is my dear godbrother Viraja Krsna Prabhu: last time while visiting Rajkot I arrogantly asked if he was daily reading, as if I did not know this, trying to cover up my own defects. His answer nearly struck me off my feet: he said, "Yes Prabhu, I am trying to..". In another words many times my eyes go over the lines but am I really reading? How many lifetimes is it going to take me for all this. Please present me some solutions.

Yours in service of Srila Prabhupada and Srila Gurudev,
Ramaniyangam Krsna das

Note from Moderator: I had read the above mail to Maharaj and he said, We should always remember our last day, i.e., we are going to die, then we will remain consistent. In this regard, I would also like to refer a very instructive verse Maharaj taught us from Srimad Bhagavatam 11.10.20:

ko ’nv arthaḥ sukhayaty enaṁ kāmo vā mṛtyur antike
āghātaṁ nīyamānasya vadhyasyeva na tuṣṭi-daḥ

Death is not at all pleasing, and since everyone is exactly like a condemned man being led to the place of execution, what possible happiness can people derive from material objects or the gratification they provide?

The reason we are not able to consistently read the scripture is because we forget that we are going to die any moment. We are exactly like a goat being led to the sacrificial altar, someone is in front of us in the queue and someone may be behind us. But ultimately all of us are bound to die for sure. As Maharaj said, if we remember this always in our mind, then we will become sober and put our heads into Bhagavatam.